Conflict is a delicate matter which needs to be handled well. If you have kids, then you must have been in a situation where they had arguments. Sometimes, disagreements can come about when each of the children wants one common thing hence the fighting.
When the children have conflict, they have mixed emotions which could have an impact on their relationship with each other. As a parent, it is one of your responsibilities to have a way of resolving the disagreement between your children for them to co-exist. Also, you can teach your children about ways to help solve the conflict among them. Such measures help strengthen the sibling bond and as well as know how to handle other children at school.
How well do you resolve a conflict among your children?
- Separate them and calm them down
When your children are fighting, they are angry and frustrated which could make them hurt each other. Separate them and if possible take them to different rooms. This gives them time to calm down. Sometimes, ask them what they need to do to calm down, this helps in their personal growth. When the kids are in the same room, they may continue arguing which could push them to even getting physical.
- Get to understand the issue
Once the children have calmed down, talk with them heart-to-heart. Analyze the temperatures, and if they have cooled down, you could speak to them jointly and find the cause of the problem. Honesty in any conflict is crucial for resolution. Talk to your children slowly as you make them understand that they need to be honest about what just transpired. Help them admit what role they played in the conflict. When coming into terms with the whole situation, help them express what they feel by encouraging them to use words like ‘I felt hurt because she didn’t want me to play with her, so I hid her doll away from her.’ Admitting helps the other get to understand their angle and where they are coming from. Let each child air their side of the story.
- Don’t take any side
As a parent, you need to be neutral in the situation. Avoid taking sides as the other child will feel neglected and unappreciated. Even when you know that one of your children is the one who started the conflict, don’t side with either. Instead, show them that you are in no one’s side. Make them see that they are both in the wrong for disagreeing and help them come up with ways of being on the same page.
- Help them find solutions for the situation
The advantage of being the conflict resolver is that you get to have authority. Talk to the kids and help them suggest possible solutions for the argument. Help them have a conversation with each other as you listen without actively being involved. Let them talk as they settle on a situation where they are both in agreement.
- Make them apologize
Once you know the root of the disagreement, it’s time for them to apologize. Sometimes, you may have taken out a personal loan, where you can find more details at https://www.crediful.com/personal-loans/best-egg/, where you purchased a new winter jacket for one of your kids as a replacement for an old one. This could have caused disagreement among the kids as the one who didn’t have a new jacket felt that the other was more entitled than them. The argument may have been caused by something you did. As a grown-up, you apologize and make them understand that you only bought the winter jacket because the old one couldn’t be in use anymore. Secondly, you make the kids apologize to each other. The apology could be in the form of writing, encourage them to say they are sorry and hug it out.
Always make a follow up after the apology. Get to see if they have fully recovered from the argument. Once you make your children understand that for every conflict they have, there must be communication and problem solving, they end up cementing their sibling relationship. This, in turn, helps them also learn conflict resolution techniques which they can apply to their friends. As such, they grow up emotionally stable to handle any conflict.